Jul 05 2008
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Jul 04 2008
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She is so cute! I just want to squish her!
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Linguists say Australian youth talk like Americans
via butterflyeffect
There’s something seriously wrong with Australian teenagers if there’s anything prestigious about Americans to them. But this is the same sort of thing that’s responsible for r-dropping dialects in certain areas along the east coast of the US — FUN FACT: r-dropping innovated and spread like wildfire in England during colonial times back when British English was a prestige dialect here for obvious reasons, so sea port cities that had regular contact with the Brits picked it up!
I can’t wait until alveolar flapping catches too. Then I can say “THE FLAPPING IS CONTAGIOUS!” and it sounds like I’m talking about STDs.
Jul 03 2008
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- Q: What do you call a nightclub for genetically enhanced lesbians?
- A: A clone dyke bar.
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“ Okay guys, one more thing. Hey, this summer when you’re being inundated with all this American bicentennial Fourth Of July brouhaha, don’t forget what you’re celebrating, and that’s the fact that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic, white males didn’t want to pay their taxes.
— Dazed and Confused
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Happy 4th
The booming fireworks at the soccer field very close to my house scare the dog so badly that the vet prescribed him some Xanax so we can survive this holiday without having to hear him bark all night.
Jul 02 2008
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I had a mini Little Miss Sunshine moment on my ride home from work today — two boys were on the side of the road furiously pumping the “Honk your horn” gesture, and recalling the mind-numbing boredom that induced that behavior as a kid and how disappointed I was when people ignored it, I honked my horn enthusiastically multiple times for their enjoyment. Aaaand my horn remained stuck and blasting. The best solution for this, as for all things, was to punch it over and over again until it stopped.
Jul 01 2008
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“ You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the one who’ll decide where to go.
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(If you are not Caragh, Kaileen or Lori, ignore this.)
QUESTION: What is that orange crooked house on South Street in Bridgewater?
Finally, an answer to the question that so many people have asked me. Just because I live in proximity to the thing does not mean I know what the hell it is!
Thank you, The Enterprise.
Jun 30 2008
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I’m getting so bored that I’m using the counterfeit marker to give all President Grants glasses.